you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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