Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize