Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
