I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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