And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
