I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
