Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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