after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i believe in u and ur pee
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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