Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Alive.
So much puke
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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