WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
