Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
