Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
