It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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