the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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