oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
