so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize