That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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