So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
