My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize