I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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