Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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