I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
