Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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