get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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