since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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