i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
