I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
