thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
