I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
