Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
