margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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