It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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