time to smoke my breakfast
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
