Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
