Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
