If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Go christen that room with your naked body.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
