Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
