it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
