So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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