I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
