You're so nebulous sometimes
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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