Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
FUCK WHALES
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
