This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize