you win again, gameday.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
