i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
