what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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