I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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