well most of my day revolves around power hour
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
