Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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