True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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