Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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