8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
