Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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