From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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