I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
