Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
