So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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