My room smells like vodka and shame
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
