We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
