Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we have officially lost it.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
