What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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