I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
