don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
