my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
