Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
