i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
