I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize