can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize